Saturday, June 2, 2012

If Life Were a Nerve

If life were a nerve, mine would be that pesky little one that runs behind the crazy bone.  I would have never called myself Ulna, but I guess had my parents known of my tingly irritation brought to those around me, I may not be called Russell today.

There are days that seem like my mental crazy bone is controlling life’s GPS.  Guiding me into knocks and bumps almost as if it were deliberately trying to give me the painful willies of a damaged Ulnar Nerve; causing tremendous confusion and chaos at any given moment.

It seems that the only thing I can be certain of these days is uncertainty.  Now some might say that’s a wonderful place for my faith to grow, and I wouldn’t argue with them at this point.  Not because I agree, but because I’ve come to believe that my shoes are my shoes, and my path is my path, and Father God is the only one that knows the cause and effect of every aspect of my life.  And not anyone else, including me.  Uncertainty as an exercise in faith building is clearly an understood component of one’s spiritual growth and development, but what about the influence of outside forces?  What if any, are the motivating factors, or for that matter, the demotivating factors in any given life?

What moves any of us off the comfy couch of apathy and from under the snuggly warmth of our familiar blanket of atrophy?  What?

For some it’s nobility.  For others it’s humility.  For some it’s pragmatism and panic, and for others its idealism and calm.  If I had to choose an honest reply to my motivation in life, I would have to say humility, idealism and calm are my motives.  Meaning, I look out of my little mental control center and believe that humility and gentleness are most often needed above all things.  Which would explain my idealistic desire to be calm and at peace with God, self and all those around me.

Some might say that’s “pie-in-the-sky” thinking.  Or liken it to an ostrich with its head in the sand, ignoring reality, but I would argue otherwise.  As a matter of fact, I just might go so far as to believe that anything other than my motivations mentioned above, are straight up anathema to the theological convictions I base my salvation upon.  But who am I but that little nerve behind the crazy bone.  What do I know about things beyond the leading edge of an unexpected collision of an elbow?

My point is this: many days I feel like my very existence is an unexpected pesky irritation just waiting to ruin someone else’s day, or entire life for that matter.

If Life Were a Nerve, what nerve would you be?

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