Plastic Bad Ass

Okay first off… I need to post a disclaimer: I’m not given to coarse language or jesting. Those of you who think you know me from afar off are simply wrong. I am highly sensitive to the holiness of God, for which I am called to live, but sometimes there are only a few words that describe what we are intending. And the above title is exact. Yet I’ll refrain from excessive using the “A” word so as not to offend too many people.

In college I dated a famous Assembly of God missionary’s niece. She was special and I thought highly of her, but she told me regularly that the use of that word was simply cultural. One time I presented the idea to my parents and they were flabbergasted to say the least. I’ve avoided using the term except in extreme circumstances. Like the year I was camp pastor at the Iowa District Youth Camp, and was awakened several times in the night by some hooligans in the cabin next to mine. You see my wife and infant child were trying to get some sleep and the kids next door were just banging their bunk beds on the wall and screaming and goofing around.

Unfortunately for them, on my second warning, standing in my boxers, I told them, “If you wake up my baby, you’re gonna piss the hell out of me… so you better stop right now!” Granted, my choice of words was not the most statesmen like or pastoral, but it was visceral and honest, they stopped. Plus, the King James Bible uses both of those words, so take it up with King Jimmy.

Anyway, what’s been on my heart for a few days has been this: So often in our lives, we really don’t understand the power that God has given us. Yes, that’s what I said, we don’t really get it. We don’t fully grasp the concept of “resisting the devil” in the midst of a crisis.

The reason I say that is because most of us can quote that portion of James 4:7. And all the evangelical charismatics in the room cheered “Amen!” And so did the Amway people, and the Young Republicans, and the Mothers Against Drunk Driving crew, or even the Fox News groupies (of which I’m one). Yet so often we miss the KEY PORTION of that passage.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God.” Did you get the precursor to victory OVER the enemy? Submission to God, His Word, and His Spirit; all of what encompasses God. His mercy and His judgment. His forgiveness and His wrath. His love and His hate. All of God is included in the submission command, not just the parts that we like, or that have grown to be politically and churchly correct.

So what’s the point of the title of this blog? I’ll tell you. For way too long, we’ve attempted to saddle the devil with meaningless words from the Bible, because we’ve not fully embraced and accepted the entire Word of God. And thereby we’ve become “Plastic Bad Asses” in the eyes of the enemy. Meaning we are nothing but a sham. We are nothing but posers and sometimes hosers.

A Plastic Bad Ass is someone who really has no “show behind their go”. You know, like the guys in high school that put mags on their cars and turned the lid to the air-cleaner over and maybe strapped on some glass packs, yet nothing was really done to the motor. It just sounded bad and looked bad, but couldn’t get the wheels off the ground if it had to. All show and no go.

Kinda like the seven sons of Sceva. They got their tails whipped by the demons, because they were simply not known in the arena of testimony. They were not known with the ranks of Paul, and Peter and even Jesus. They had NOT YET submitted themselves to the Lordship of Christ, but only the “image” of effective religion.

So what’s my point? Far too many of us are going around like Plastic Bad Asses trying to defeat the enemy, all the while we’ve yet to fully submit to Christ. The whole counsel of Christ. Not just a few things we like, but the entire body of record of who Jesus was and is, and still is to this moment.

So the next time you find yourself in a street fight with the devil, make sure you’re not heading into that fight just blowing a lot of smoke and acting like a Plastic Bad Ass. This fight is for real and we’d better be ready.

Any takers?