It’s Time to Write

Some folks light up, other’s track down the now elusive Twinkie.  Some stack up their files to hide downloads or clear their history, while others pull a cork from a wine bottle because wine is acceptable, whereas hard core spirits are taboo.  Then you’ve got the lonely sole with a melting credit card to satiate their emptiness.  And of course there are the religious folks who wouldn’t miss a day or hour that the church doors are open, yet they dance hand in hand and sometimes cheek to cheek with the above mentioned vices.  Oh wait, least I forget the health nuts.  Can you say that these days?  Smile, they’re in love with the lesser of many gods.  Or what about the musicians who pour out all they have in hopes to touch just one soul, and then receive a standing ovation?  Or how about the ones hording ammunition, because weapons availability won’t be the issue – lethal projectiles are the things that make those hot sticks worth their weight in gold.  Forgive me, I digress.

Then you’ve got the writers; the souls that bleed through keyboards onto digital paper.  They never really anticipate their own breakthrough, but they do hope for best seller Power Ball jack-pot status.  You know, we’re the ones who’ve traveled all the above roads and beyond.  That’s why you love to hate us, but can’t stop coming back for more.  Smile it’s all about typical stuff.  Right?

Why do I write?  Well first because if I don’t, what little arthritis I battle sets into my knuckles and I hate that.  Pain sucks in the area where you most need function.  Amen?

But secondly, I write for selfish reasons.  I write because it’s cathartic.  I write because if I don’t I’ll throw up.  Okay that’s not true, but it sounded good as I was typing.

Truthfully I started writing while matriculating at Evangel College in the early 80’s.  I had an old manual Royal typewriter that my dad bought for me at a second hand store on our drive to Springfield, Missouri, my freshman year of college.  I used that thing for the first 4 years of college.  Then I got an Apple IIc.  Thanks Wozniak.  Jobs is dead.  Accept it you cult people.

Over the years, I’ve written for way more than catharsis or cash flow.  I’ve written hundreds, maybe even thousands of sermons.  I’ve written hundreds of newsletter articles; and several hundred blogs over the last few years.  I just love to write.  I love to talk too.

But somewhere mid-stream, I realized that the many things moving through my soul may actually be of help or interest to someone beyond me.  Without any pious posture, but with honest and prophetic metaphor and Spirit Words, I just might leverage my reason for life here on earth.  That’s good right?

When God gave us talents, He did so according to our abilities.  That says much.  If I write, then it’s according to my abilities.  If I preach, or sing, or play or dance or paint or whatever;  I do so according to the abilities He’s given me at birth and throughout my life and experiences.

So here’s the POINT: DO WHAT HE HAS ABLED YOU TO DO!  Therein you will find the greatest fulfillment and affect beyond yourself.  Amen?  I say amen!  Just do it!  Wait Nike cashed in on that one.  I’m screwed.

RAK

Where do I begin?

It was around the year 2000 when my Father succumbed to a stroke and died at the age of 68.  After many weeks of commuting to Des Moines to help my mom with the estate and home repairs and etc. we realized we could not do what needed to be done simply by commuting.

As a result we resigned our church in Davenport, Iowa after 11 plus years.  We loved our church and its people.  We owned property and both our kids were born there.  Many hours of fun, family, blood, sweat and tears… and lots of prayer were spilt on that soil.

Upon arriving in Des Moines, we lived in my mom’s basement while Sarah worked at Urbandale High School, and I re-started my trade business of painting and remodeling.  We got involved in church activities at Des Moines First Assembly.  I led worship on Wednesday nights, and taught a section of the Membership Class, as well as both Sarah and I helping in the Children’s Department at various times.

While staining Richard Arrowood’s deck, he was my Superintendent at the time, he asked if I would do fill-in at Altoona Assembly of God.  I said, “I didn’t know we had a church in Altoona?”  And he said, “Most people don’t” with a smile.  I said yes and the rest is history.

Somewhere around 2003 I was officially installed as the bi-vocational pastor of this little church.  We purchased a home a few blocks away.  We finished my moms house repairs and helped her to get it sold and her moved into a new townhome.

At that point I dove into the work of being a pastor and a full-time tradesman (a full life to say the least).

God was good to us.  I had plenty of work and the church seemed to be doing okay.  Time passed and as churches often do, we went through a life cycle or bell curve of change.  New faces, new vision, many projects and actually souls saved and a few filled with the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

But time, modest income, and the extremes of a 7 day work week for 8 years took its toll on my life and family.

Each of you members and adherents of the REMEDY church are so very special to me and my family.  We have grown in the Lord, we have fought battles with the enemy, and we are still standing to testify of God’s goodness and constant victory.

As many of you know, the last few years have been exceedingly taxing on my personal life.  Sometimes the result was a loss to the church life and ministry.  For that I take full responsibility and am deeply sorry and repentant.

I am currently in the deepest valley of my life.  And the pain of this valley has touched too many lives to mention.  As a result of this present suffering, and the probability of catastrophic life and family changes (not withstanding a miracle from God).  I will no longer be able to lead this church as pastor.

It is with deep regret that I resign my position as your pastor.  I love you guys like family; because you are.

I have met with and received godly counsel from my district officers and close ministry friends.  That would include one of the most influential spiritual mentors and friends of my life, Pastor Larry Low.

All of the above mentioned are dear spiritual leaders, whom I submit to and trust implicitly.  Much time, prayer, counsel and weeping have been mixed into this entire journey and decision.  Therefore, today will be my very last day as your pastor.

Please pray for such a measure of grace, peace, provision, and true love to overshadow myself, Sarah, Andrew and Anna, as we together go through this deep valley of change.

Thank you Father God, thank you Jesus my Lord and Savior, and thank you Holy Spirit for being my sustaining power and only hope.

I love Sarah, Andrew my son in whom I am well pleased, and my dear daughter Anna, whose sweet spirit and wit have kept me assured she is indeed cut from the same fabric as I.  The four of you have been my life inspiration.  Thank you from the bottom of my soul.

And love to the REMEDY church family and the Iowa Ministry Network of the Assemblies of God.  Also, I would like to thank my friend and Superintendent Tom Jacobs, whose grace, wisdom and vision have shown me what true leadership is all about.  And I deeply thank the Iowa District for being my ministry home for the past 22 years.

In the days ahead please keep the entire Kinney family in your prayers.  When we see each other, don’t feel awkward, I won’t.  Just stop and chat.  We’ll be around.

May God bless each of us as we endeavor to follow Him all the way Home!

Pastor Russell A. Kinney

Sunday, October 21, 2012 

Thermal Pains

Many years ago, someone invented the duel layered glass window pane.  The theory is, with a small amount of dead air between the sheets of glass, a thermal barrier would be created to reduce the passive transfer of heat.  Then someone came up with the idea of adding a heavy noble gas like Argon.  Argon is heavier than air and therefore provides an even greater thermal barrier.

So why are my thoughts on thermal pane windows?  I don’t know, but I woke up the other day with those words stuck in my mind.  Not the word pane, but pain; Thermal Pains.

That’s right, the pains in our lives that create barriers for the transfer of emotional warmth and comfort.  We tend to allow the passive back and forth transfer of warmth and comfort when our heart pain is at a minimum; ergo the idea of Thermal Pains.  Pains of this nature prevent closeness to God and others.  They’re barriers built upon lies believed to be true.  And so often we don’t even know we believe them.  That’s what a good lie is all about – deception.

My thoughts run in this direction.  Pain, heart and soul pain; the kind that sticks deep in us and often unknown to us, skews everything we do, say and even think.  It’s a pain that’s there, but we can’t put our finger on it.  We can’t seem to isolate it nor identify it, so we tend to just live with it.  And it affects every aspect of our life.

Without proper resolution and removal of such pain, which few attempt because of its enigmatic nature, the tendency is to just “live with it”.  Like that ache in our joints as we get older.  Like that short term memory issue we seem to have the older we get.  Like that chronic non-life-threatening health issue that we just “buck-up” and “live with”.

But why?  Why do we tolerate it?

I suppose it’s because we’ve been told life is tough.  Pain happens.  Disappointment is always with us.  Hey even Jesus said “in this world you will have trouble”.  Albeit the divine caveat was His assurance of peace and the reminder that He has overcome the world; yet it is a battle for truth and reality that many still wage.  And I’m no exception.

But here’s the deal, I was reading about the effectiveness of this heavy noble gas call Argon, as a thermal barrier, and in parallel with my thoughts on pain being a barrier for emotional warmth and comfort, and guess what?  I found out the gas named Argon is derived from a Greek word (αργον) meaning “lazy” or “the inactive one” and tends to undergo almost no chemical reaction.  It’s stable, but is very resistant to “bonding” with other elements.

Dig this.  Argon is relationally lazy or inactive and struggles to bond with others.  I’m smiling right now as I stretch my analogy a bit further.  Forgive me?

Pain, based upon lies we believe to be true, will always and ever create a thermal barrier against the warmth and comfort derived from genuine relationships based upon Truth.  Pain, like argon makes us relationally lazy or inactive.  We struggle with bonding to the good in relationships (others and self); because our life is felt and viewed through the perspective of this “argonian-pain” (my made up word).  A heavy lazy barrier that keeps us from the best parts of life, namely the warmth and comfort derived from God, others, and yes even our true self who God made us to be.

Okay, I know my thoughts may be digressive sometimes, bear with me.  If we cannot or better yet, will not be free from the pain in our hearts, we will NEVER find the true connections God has ordained for us in this life and beyond.

So let’s shatter those Thermal Pains and let the passive warmth and comfort of God’s love radiate right to the center of who we are.  Bringing life and reality to the very person we were born to be.  Because holding onto pain is a lazy act.  Let’s get active and release that heavy ignoble element from our hearts and fully experience all of what God has for us in Christ Jesus our Lord – and in communion with others.

Amen & Selah

Leading Empty Handed

Recently I’ve come to grips with a few facts of life.  Firstly, I have always believed I was totally sold out to Jesus.  Secondly, I have always believed and confessed that nothing was between me and God.  Both of these belief facts are less than fully true.

When my personal life was turned upside down, God showed me I was trying to lead my life and the lives of others, while holding onto things I believed were my entitlement, and I erroneously believed that those things surely were not hindrances to my leading or living for Him.  But guess what?  I was wrong.

The Lord has shown me that if I am to follow Him and be His representative, I must have empty hands.  I must not hold to anything that I somehow believe is essential to this life but Him.  I know many would subscribe to that statement, but when we’re called to carry the Cross, and our hands are full of the things of earth, we cannot rightly, tightly or confidently grip that sacred beam.

As I write, there is no one to bash but myself.  I’m not writing to indict anyone but me.  And likewise, I am not condemning myself, but I am acknowledging my lack of dependency upon and sacred love for Him alone.  Theory is one thing; living in truth while all hell breaks loose is another thing.

I know God’s grace is more than sufficient.  I also know that His grace teaches us to say “no” to ourselves, and yes to all of His provision.  His grace has appeared in my life to empower me to live my all in Him.  And the only way to do that is empty handed.

Leading Empty Handed is not easy, but it’s essential.

A Swan Song - Prelude

I’ve never really thought of myself as having great influence or voice in this land and lifetime.  Some have said I lack a clear bugling call like more prominent Anatidae in my arena.  And most assuredly if any sounds did come forth they were woefully perceived by some as meaningless hisses, honks and grunts like Cygnus olor; never known as fully mute or fully comprehensible in word or deed.  A fact that could be changing soon.

As I read about the Mute Swan (Cygnus olor), I came to find out they’re not fully mute, but do have the capability of making primitive noises as mentioned above.  Their lives never fully defined by silent beauty and grace, or even the resonant glory of more recognizable song birds.  And much to my romantic and intellectual chagrin, I found out they actually do not sing one last beautiful and triumphant song before their death.  That was disheartening.

But for the sake of this blog and my respect for historic metaphor, I’m sticking with Swan Song as my “final gesture, effort, or performance given just before death or retirement.”

Call me sentimental about erroneous 3^rd century BC Greek proverbs that misled me to believe “the Mute Swan is completely silent during its lifetime until the moment just before death, when it sings one beautiful song.”  I just really like the idea from a poetic and melancholy standpoint.

There were seven last sayings Jesus uttered from the cross on that glorious and final day.  One might even say they were the stanzas of His own glorious Swan Song.  And with no irreverence intended, it was a beautiful song to conclude a life fraught with misunderstandings and hateful critiques, by those not understanding His power and purpose.

I draw no parallels with Christ on the cross and my present circumstances, but I do draw strength from the knowledge that like Him, if I will die on the altar of obedience, I will ultimately rise again for God’s glory and honor.

In the days ahead, may my Swan Song be of such beauty and grace that all may know; He is God in life and in death.  And no matter how deep or wide or high or low one may seek or even wander; His presence pursues and provokes us return to the Heart that loved and made us His very own.

Coda 

ALL THINGS. Seriously?

Soul Scrub 1

ALL THINGS.  Seriously?

Philippians 4:13 – the bane of every ADD Christian

Many years ago, somewhere around 1977, I began to meet with a small group of committed, hungry and sometimes confused Christian teens.  For that matter, we were all teenagers at the time, with the exception of the youth pastor leading the group.

We met on Wednesday mornings before school at around 6:00 am.  We gathered in a little house called the White House, just east of our church building.  It was called the White House, because it was a house, and it was white.

There were several objectives.  I’ll be spiritual about the order: 1) we met for pray together; 2) we met to read and memorize some scripture; 3) we met to have breakfast and fellowship.  I’d like to believe that was everyone’s order of priority for meeting, but honestly food and fellowship with friends (especially with some girls I had a crush on) was the likely priority.  That’s not evil, but it doesn’t sound real spiritual.  But it was true.

Over time I grew to really appreciate scripture memorization.  Don’t get me wrong, I still loved the food and fellowship, because each week different individuals were responsible to make or provide breakfast.  Some weeks it was donuts and milk.  Other weeks it was full blown eggs and bacon, or pancakes and sausage.  So yes it was food and also fun that drew me to the group, but eventually scripture really began to take hold in my heart, and that played a major part in why this group became something very special to me.

One of the passages we memorized was Philippians 4:13.  Look it up, I won’t quote it.  But I will tell you I locked onto that passage and carried it with me for years.  Kind of like a lucky rabbits foot that I would rub when I was confronted with something challenging.  And I suppose God in His infinite grace and Fatherly compassion, let me use it that way.

But recently, I’ve come to realize the detriment of that passage for me.  I simply could not do ALL THINGS through Christ, but only the things that He spoke or commanded.  And furthermore, if the ALL THINGS somehow include the will of another person, gridlock was likely.  And what about if I’m uncertain and find my feelings waffling on a decision I need to make, then James chapter one kicks in, and again, nothing happens.

I don’t point these things out to cause doubt or question regarding the veracity of scripture, but I make this point because, ALL THINGS that I would attempt to accomplish, must align with God’s will and not mine.  Oh granted I may desire things that appear close to His will, but unless I’m spot on, ALL THINGS will not come to pass, regardless of how much I want them.  In addition, sometimes I just need to take action, to catalyze my faith, His Word and His Will.

So, what to do?  I pray, Father not my will but Thy will be done.  Further I pray, reveal Thy will through scripture, through a clear Spirit leading and even through the truth weighed voice of others.  And finally I pray, grant me perfect peace that I may move toward my ALL THINGS moments with confidence and assurance, that my heart’s desire IS TO DO HIS WILL and LOVE HIM above all else.  And finally, by taking action in one direction or another, I can confirm His guiding hand and find my ALL THINGS met in Him alone.

CAVEAT: Something else I’m learning as I step out and make forward looking choices; if my heart is truly humbled and right before God, then I must also rest in the same grace that saved me, to keep or restore me even if the choice ends up not the best one at that time.  For in God’s economy there is the beautiful provision of second chances, and third and fourth etc.; as long as my heart is not hardened to His voice.

So the next time I begin to quote Philippians 4:13, may I do so with the confident knowledge that I will be standing on the sure foundation of His Word, His Will and His Spirit’s leading; and not my own.  And if by chance I miss the mark in assuming I can do ALL THINGS, He will be there with the same grace he saved me with, to restore me once again to His purpose for my life (Jeremiah 39:11; Romans 8:28).

Finally, may I never be guilty of the great sin of presumption David spoke of in Psalm 19:12-14.  If you don’t remember it, here it is.

Psalm 19:12-14 (AMP) “Who can discern his lapses and errors?  Clear me from hidden [and unconscious] faults.  (13) Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me!  Then shall I be blameless, and I shall be innocent and clear of great transgression.  (14) Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my [firm, impenetrable] Rock and my Redeemer.”

Amen and amen.

ALL THINGS?  Maybe, if that’s what He wills!

pk-rk-ANM 

What If

What if I were to tell you that God desires to meet all your needs?  According to His riches in Glory?  What if I were to tell you that more than you could ask or imagine He is willing to provide?  What if you established a mantra based upon ALL NEEDS MET?  Don’t be scared off by my use of the word mantra.  The Bible is clear about meditation, setting our minds on things above and the like – murmuring, or muttering things that align with God’s will, His Spirit and His Word.  Ergo – mantra.

I say this because, only rarely have I experienced Christians who practice what the Bible teaches about, praying without ceasing.  Seriously, most of us could not be on our knees 24/7 365, due to our debt to those we owe.   But the Bible still calls us to focus, or aim at, or dial in upon Father God and His best for our lives.  

So what does that mean for you and me?

What If we did just that?  What If we; notwithstanding our present situation(s); focused upon His promises, that are Yes and Amen.  His Word that is sure.  His truth that prevails!  So how much would things begin to change?  I think a whole lot.

But call me a rebel.  Call me Antisocial Personality Disorder, or worse.  For I believe in things that are beyond what I see.  I believe in the invisible.  I believe we can fly.  Much to most peoples chagrin.  Yet I press on.

Oh I feel pain, but that’s just lies I believe to be true, about me.  So relax.  We’re in this together.

What If All Needs Met was how you lived and breathed?  What if by the grace of God you held to that law, that principle, that precept, that TRUTH?  All things would change.

So, the next time you FEEL like something’s not going to change – just chant ANM… ANM… ANM!  All needs met, according to His riches in glory.  Remember, he does own all the cattle on the hills before your eyes, so it’s likely He too possesses any and all resources to accommodate your lacking, day in and day out.

What If – ANM?  What if you believed for more than what you see?  I believe you’ll be amazed, and will give glory to God.  Amen and ANM!

PK