Never Mind

I’m not sure when I first heard that expression; Never Mind.  But over the years I’ve used it to push away confusion and misunderstanding.  And I’ve used it to push away moments when I didn’t want to express or explain myself.  But nonetheless I’ve used it – so Never Mind.

The idea of Never Mind-ing anything is pretty lame when you think about it.  As a matter of fact, blogs like this elicit similar words.  Blah, blah, blah Russell – Never Mind.  In other words just don’t even think about what I just said.  Forget it.  Blow it off.  Ignore it.

Yet the Bible tells us from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.  So whatever is coming out of my mouth somehow originates from somewhere deep inside me.  Oh you may argue otherwise, but I think God is right.

When my mouth opens – my heart speaks.  Good bad or indifferent.

So the next time you say; Never Mind... don’t expect anyone to accept it.  Because if you open your mouth and speak; you really want someone to mind (or pay attention to) what you’re saying.  You really do want their mind to attach to those words and you want to make an impact.

Therefore, consider your words wisely.  Because if you think Never Mind gives you a pass… it doesn’t.

Never Mind

Love Covers

As far back as I can remember my mom lived these words.  And I’m not suggesting that she entertained evil or tolerated insolence or rebellion in her children or life, but she seemed to have a discerning eye for knowing the difference between dirt in the heart versus dirt on the surface of the lives of her children and others.  Make sense?

I’ve been told, when I was just an infant, mom was carrying me in her arms.  We lived in an old salt box shaped house on the south side of Des Moines, and the stairs to the second floor were very steep.  Apparently she was at the top of the stairs with me in her arms and she lost her footing on that top stair and slipped.  As the story goes she fell backwards and clutched me to her breast so as not to drop me and to protect me as she slid down the entire steep flight of stairs.

Now it doesn’t sound too extreme, but I guess she broke her tail bone and from that point on had chronic pain and trouble in that area because of the fracture.  I only found out about that incident when I was in college.  But I always knew she had pain while sitting in certain chairs, but never knew why.  Love Covers?

Too many times to count, it would be the last piece of food on a plate or in a bowl and she always gave it up for one of us in the family.  Or for that matter when cookies were baked, she always seemed to eat the burnt ones (carbon deficiency I guess?), and left the good ones for us.  Love Covers?

There were times when I was in grade school and struggling with certain school issues.  Be it my reading, other children making fun of me, conflict with teaches or too many visits to the principal’s office; a stomach ache tended to keep me home.  Poor parenting some would say (maybe psycho sematic?), but I knew early on, she just couldn’t bring herself to force me into painful childhood struggles.  Love Covers?

Some might say that she coddled me.  Maybe she did, but to this day, I know how to stand and fight with the best of them, and I’m not a quitter – but I do know how to be merciful and compassionate, and I do get the whole concept of empathy and I practice it well.  Love Covers?

Or how about the times I would come home late while in high school, and she would get up and sit and talk with me while I ate a bowl of cereal.  I knew those moments were safe.  I would tell her that we sneaked into the Forum IV theaters to watch a movie, or that us guys had tried smoking cigarettes or pot.  Or that beer had somehow factored into where I had been that night, but that I felt bad about it.  She would tell me not to tell my dad, but to keep it between us and God – and don’t do it again or worse may befall me.  I’d go to bed feeling deeply convicted for my external dirt, asking the Lord to forgive me, but knowing He and my mom knew my heart wasn’t dirty – just my outsides for moment in time.  Love Covers?

Or how about the times that I would cry about a broken heart?  And she would hold me and tell me I was special and that she loved me and would never trade me for anything.  It brings me to tears right now, thinking back on those moments.  She still tells me almost weekly, when we talk on the phone, that she loves me and that life will be okay, because the Lord knows what I need and He will provide.  Love Covers?

I can’t tell you that my mom was the world’s greatest mom, but I can tell you that she was and is the greatest mom I’ve ever had and she always makes me laugh and I make her laugh.  Love Covers?

To my mom Betty Kinney-Potterton; thank you and Happy Mother’s Day!  Your love has taught me of God’s love.  And that is the best parenting in my book.  You’ve taught me grace and mercy.  You’ve taught me gentle strength and tenacity, when those qualities were leaking out of me.  I love you mom!

Love Covers?  Yes it does… at least when it comes to my mom. 

Rising to My Own Fall

As a biologist, I understand the life cycle God has put in place to keep this broken biosphere limping along with the appearance of renewed life, season after season.  Okay I’m not officially a biologist, but I would have been if I matriculated my first interest of study to its prescribed end, but I didn’t.  Arm-chair science, like arm-chair theology, can be risky when run on human trials without proper consent.  I digress.

When we live the course of life set before us, with its entire set of unforeseen pitfall and hairpin turns, we tend to think “that’s just life.”  But I think it’s not.  I think there is much more going on than meets the naked eye or experience.

I believe that everything in life, pain or pleasure, are found in the hand of God as instruments for the good of any and all who experience them.  Yet from the wayward to the most forward, God is working His will and good pleasure, but that’s not how we usually see it (or feel it).

We live to rise, to improve, to get better and have more – or we just live in mediocrity, but either way we usually don’t understand that aiming at a higher place will likely end in a lower state; if we don’t understand the path to the divine promise.

Rising to My Own Fall is the common basis for advance within the Kingdom, for if I desire to be first, I must be last.  If I desire life I must die.  If I desire strength I must be weak.  If I desire to be served I must first serve.  If I desire to lead I must follow.  If I desire to be lifted up I must first be brought low.

Do you see the pattern?  Do you realize that the greatest summit you can climb is that of your own admission to human depravity?

Don’t get me wrong.  This is not about vane self-deprecation or faking self-effacement – simply to get or to gain.  But it’s about an honest appraisal of who we are – without Him.  Who we are at the core was never good until redemption.

So the next time you aspire to a greater anything – without a genuine assessment of Who it is that gets you there – take heed.  For in Rising to My Own Fall did there alone I realized the fallacy in flesh and self-sufficiency.  May you too discover this Kingdom mystery so often glossed over for more appealing tones of self-righteousness and indulgence – all in the name of free grace and love.

Rising to My Own Fall – just might be the best thing that ever happened to me.  But only as I see my path in the rear-view mirror of life, am I aware of the Hand that guided every step of the way.

The Will of God

Never in my entire life has there been any other subject of greater concern, but The Will of God.  Oh I’ve toyed with other major Bible themes and doctrines, many of which are actually not clear cut, but may be up for interpretation – without the risk of missing the special favor of God for salvation.  But this one subject has held my attention above all others in the Bible.  Simply put, I don’t want to miss The Will of God – and over my 52 years I often have.

The apostle Paul teaches us that it IS possible to know and participate in, and even test The Will of God, if we are so inclined.  And it is never based upon our abilities, but upon the tenuous simplicity of laying down our lives (our will) for His.  In doing so something happens.  Our minds melt.  Our thinking begins to change; because we are deliberately putting aside our carnal thoughts and desires that are always predicated upon self-preservation and pleasure.  And as we take a stand by the renewal of our minds (our thinking), the fog begins to lift.  Confusion disperses like diluting a toxic solution with a pure reagent (the solution to pollution is dilution).

As I do as He did, offer my will and my body as an instrument of service to Father God, I discover the ease and joy of obedience.  But only when I finally get to the place of desperation, even holy restlessness, and am willing to tap-out or throw in the towel do I find His perfect Yoke.

I cannot say the lead up to that glorious drop on the other side is easy, because for me it wasn’t.  The climb and the ratcheting up to the place of release can be nerve wracking and frankly scary.  But oh the vistas of hope seen at the pinnacle of that upward trek, and the breezes of pure Spirit wind – they are matchless.  They become divine refreshment to slake the driest soul – mine.

I really want to test God (argue with me later about that thought).  And there are few places in scripture that give me that invitation.  In Malachi I’m called to test Him by the faith and obedience to bringing my tithe into the storehouse to supply the work of God.  And also in Romans 12:1-2, I’m invited to test God in the veracity of His will – His good, pleasing and perfect will.  I’m taking that offer.

The Will of God need not be a mystery – to the one willing to die to self and live for Him.

As the monitor of life beeps slower and slower and the respirations get shallower and shallower, our flesh grasps the sheets and twitches its toes not wanting to depart.  That can be a very disturbing moment at best and at worst produce a panic matched nowhere.  But the moment I release, the moment I concede to my own death on the altar of Grace – lightning strikes in the spirit realm and I cross to the other side and find something that is so good, pleasing and perfect in nature I never want to go back.

Thank you Father God for working through a mystery and constantly finding ways to bring us to points of discovery through the death of self – only to find true Life in The Will of God.

Selah

The Kingpin

In 1974 I saw pictures in a newly publication called Skateboarder Magazine.  Those pictures changed my life and my motivation.  I soon became a skateboarder.  I still am, just far less vertical.

As I evolved in the sport so too did the equipment.  Year in and year out technological improvements flooded the market making different tricks and moves possible.  But one thing has not changed much since those early days; the physics and principles of how a skateboard turns.

Based upon the antiquated use of split roller skates nailed to the bottom of a flat board of wood, trucks were born.  Trucks are the turning mechanism mounted under the board at the back and front ends.  Wheels are bolted on the ends of the axles and usually two large rubber bushings allow the hanger (the axle portion) to flex back and forth.  Essential for basic turns and hard carves.

I won’t digress into thoughts of my favorite brand of truck (Tracker), but I will say without trucks you just couldn’t turn.  You could not change direction.

Here’s my thought: most trucks have what used to be called The Kingpin.  It was/is an adjustable nut and bolt that the hanger (axle) rested upon, and at the base of the hanger was the pivot point.  Both The Kingpin and the pivot point are essential for the truck to work.  And depending upon the design and the tightness of the nut on the king pin, both would determine the stability of the board and the turning radius.

Without The Kingpin and pivot point; no turns would take place.  And so too with our lives; God has design people, places, things, and events to create strategic components so we could (ideally would) make the proper turns.  Or even, make the basic move called a 180.

Oh God, thank you for the grace in unforeseen Kingpins and pivot points.  Things I would have never thought of, God did.  Thank you Lord that by your design you have enabled me to do the basic life carve and even the occasional 180 to correct a direction that may have ended in eternal road rash.

I would have never understood the need for The Kingpin or pivot point in my life, if it were not for the Holy Spirit revealing how precious God’s designs truly are.  Thank you Lord.  Thank you for a mechanism to turn this life-board around. 

With a truck key in hand and fresh set of Word and Spirit bushings, I’m gonna put The Kingpin and pivot point to the test (maybe even a few grinds).  I used to be able to carve with the best of them.  Let’s see if I still got it!

The Kingpin – essential for tricks AND genuine turnarounds!   

It’s Time to Write

Some folks light up, other’s track down the now elusive Twinkie.  Some stack up their files to hide downloads or clear their history, while others pull a cork from a wine bottle because wine is acceptable, whereas hard core spirits are taboo.  Then you’ve got the lonely sole with a melting credit card to satiate their emptiness.  And of course there are the religious folks who wouldn’t miss a day or hour that the church doors are open, yet they dance hand in hand and sometimes cheek to cheek with the above mentioned vices.  Oh wait, least I forget the health nuts.  Can you say that these days?  Smile, they’re in love with the lesser of many gods.  Or what about the musicians who pour out all they have in hopes to touch just one soul, and then receive a standing ovation?  Or how about the ones hording ammunition, because weapons availability won’t be the issue – lethal projectiles are the things that make those hot sticks worth their weight in gold.  Forgive me, I digress.

Then you’ve got the writers; the souls that bleed through keyboards onto digital paper.  They never really anticipate their own breakthrough, but they do hope for best seller Power Ball jack-pot status.  You know, we’re the ones who’ve traveled all the above roads and beyond.  That’s why you love to hate us, but can’t stop coming back for more.  Smile it’s all about typical stuff.  Right?

Why do I write?  Well first because if I don’t, what little arthritis I battle sets into my knuckles and I hate that.  Pain sucks in the area where you most need function.  Amen?

But secondly, I write for selfish reasons.  I write because it’s cathartic.  I write because if I don’t I’ll throw up.  Okay that’s not true, but it sounded good as I was typing.

Truthfully I started writing while matriculating at Evangel College in the early 80’s.  I had an old manual Royal typewriter that my dad bought for me at a second hand store on our drive to Springfield, Missouri, my freshman year of college.  I used that thing for the first 4 years of college.  Then I got an Apple IIc.  Thanks Wozniak.  Jobs is dead.  Accept it you cult people.

Over the years, I’ve written for way more than catharsis or cash flow.  I’ve written hundreds, maybe even thousands of sermons.  I’ve written hundreds of newsletter articles; and several hundred blogs over the last few years.  I just love to write.  I love to talk too.

But somewhere mid-stream, I realized that the many things moving through my soul may actually be of help or interest to someone beyond me.  Without any pious posture, but with honest and prophetic metaphor and Spirit Words, I just might leverage my reason for life here on earth.  That’s good right?

When God gave us talents, He did so according to our abilities.  That says much.  If I write, then it’s according to my abilities.  If I preach, or sing, or play or dance or paint or whatever;  I do so according to the abilities He’s given me at birth and throughout my life and experiences.

So here’s the POINT: DO WHAT HE HAS ABLED YOU TO DO!  Therein you will find the greatest fulfillment and affect beyond yourself.  Amen?  I say amen!  Just do it!  Wait Nike cashed in on that one.  I’m screwed.

RAK

Where do I begin?

It was around the year 2000 when my Father succumbed to a stroke and died at the age of 68.  After many weeks of commuting to Des Moines to help my mom with the estate and home repairs and etc. we realized we could not do what needed to be done simply by commuting.

As a result we resigned our church in Davenport, Iowa after 11 plus years.  We loved our church and its people.  We owned property and both our kids were born there.  Many hours of fun, family, blood, sweat and tears… and lots of prayer were spilt on that soil.

Upon arriving in Des Moines, we lived in my mom’s basement while Sarah worked at Urbandale High School, and I re-started my trade business of painting and remodeling.  We got involved in church activities at Des Moines First Assembly.  I led worship on Wednesday nights, and taught a section of the Membership Class, as well as both Sarah and I helping in the Children’s Department at various times.

While staining Richard Arrowood’s deck, he was my Superintendent at the time, he asked if I would do fill-in at Altoona Assembly of God.  I said, “I didn’t know we had a church in Altoona?”  And he said, “Most people don’t” with a smile.  I said yes and the rest is history.

Somewhere around 2003 I was officially installed as the bi-vocational pastor of this little church.  We purchased a home a few blocks away.  We finished my moms house repairs and helped her to get it sold and her moved into a new townhome.

At that point I dove into the work of being a pastor and a full-time tradesman (a full life to say the least).

God was good to us.  I had plenty of work and the church seemed to be doing okay.  Time passed and as churches often do, we went through a life cycle or bell curve of change.  New faces, new vision, many projects and actually souls saved and a few filled with the baptism of the Holy Spirit.

But time, modest income, and the extremes of a 7 day work week for 8 years took its toll on my life and family.

Each of you members and adherents of the REMEDY church are so very special to me and my family.  We have grown in the Lord, we have fought battles with the enemy, and we are still standing to testify of God’s goodness and constant victory.

As many of you know, the last few years have been exceedingly taxing on my personal life.  Sometimes the result was a loss to the church life and ministry.  For that I take full responsibility and am deeply sorry and repentant.

I am currently in the deepest valley of my life.  And the pain of this valley has touched too many lives to mention.  As a result of this present suffering, and the probability of catastrophic life and family changes (not withstanding a miracle from God).  I will no longer be able to lead this church as pastor.

It is with deep regret that I resign my position as your pastor.  I love you guys like family; because you are.

I have met with and received godly counsel from my district officers and close ministry friends.  That would include one of the most influential spiritual mentors and friends of my life, Pastor Larry Low.

All of the above mentioned are dear spiritual leaders, whom I submit to and trust implicitly.  Much time, prayer, counsel and weeping have been mixed into this entire journey and decision.  Therefore, today will be my very last day as your pastor.

Please pray for such a measure of grace, peace, provision, and true love to overshadow myself, Sarah, Andrew and Anna, as we together go through this deep valley of change.

Thank you Father God, thank you Jesus my Lord and Savior, and thank you Holy Spirit for being my sustaining power and only hope.

I love Sarah, Andrew my son in whom I am well pleased, and my dear daughter Anna, whose sweet spirit and wit have kept me assured she is indeed cut from the same fabric as I.  The four of you have been my life inspiration.  Thank you from the bottom of my soul.

And love to the REMEDY church family and the Iowa Ministry Network of the Assemblies of God.  Also, I would like to thank my friend and Superintendent Tom Jacobs, whose grace, wisdom and vision have shown me what true leadership is all about.  And I deeply thank the Iowa District for being my ministry home for the past 22 years.

In the days ahead please keep the entire Kinney family in your prayers.  When we see each other, don’t feel awkward, I won’t.  Just stop and chat.  We’ll be around.

May God bless each of us as we endeavor to follow Him all the way Home!

Pastor Russell A. Kinney

Sunday, October 21, 2012