If Life Were a Nerve

If life were a nerve, mine would be that pesky little one that runs behind the crazy bone.  I would have never called myself Ulna, but I guess had my parents known of my tingly irritation brought to those around me, I may not be called Russell today.

There are days that seem like my mental crazy bone is controlling life’s GPS.  Guiding me into knocks and bumps almost as if it were deliberately trying to give me the painful willies of a damaged Ulnar Nerve; causing tremendous confusion and chaos at any given moment.

It seems that the only thing I can be certain of these days is uncertainty.  Now some might say that’s a wonderful place for my faith to grow, and I wouldn’t argue with them at this point.  Not because I agree, but because I’ve come to believe that my shoes are my shoes, and my path is my path, and Father God is the only one that knows the cause and effect of every aspect of my life.  And not anyone else, including me.  Uncertainty as an exercise in faith building is clearly an understood component of one’s spiritual growth and development, but what about the influence of outside forces?  What if any, are the motivating factors, or for that matter, the demotivating factors in any given life?

What moves any of us off the comfy couch of apathy and from under the snuggly warmth of our familiar blanket of atrophy?  What?

For some it’s nobility.  For others it’s humility.  For some it’s pragmatism and panic, and for others its idealism and calm.  If I had to choose an honest reply to my motivation in life, I would have to say humility, idealism and calm are my motives.  Meaning, I look out of my little mental control center and believe that humility and gentleness are most often needed above all things.  Which would explain my idealistic desire to be calm and at peace with God, self and all those around me.

Some might say that’s “pie-in-the-sky” thinking.  Or liken it to an ostrich with its head in the sand, ignoring reality, but I would argue otherwise.  As a matter of fact, I just might go so far as to believe that anything other than my motivations mentioned above, are straight up anathema to the theological convictions I base my salvation upon.  But who am I but that little nerve behind the crazy bone.  What do I know about things beyond the leading edge of an unexpected collision of an elbow?

My point is this: many days I feel like my very existence is an unexpected pesky irritation just waiting to ruin someone else’s day, or entire life for that matter.

If Life Were a Nerve, what nerve would you be?

Blaming the Wicked for My Orbit

Once in a great while, I find myself feeling as if I’ve been backed into a corner by circumstances beyond my control, or even beyond my wildest fears.  But usually a mild spiritual awakening occurs and I realize I’m not that cornered rodent with fangs and talons blazing, but I’m just a simple man in a complex reality governed less by coincidence than by providence.  That should be peace enough, but some days it’s not.  I guess I’m the only one waiting for the next train home?  At least the platform looks pretty empty from where I stand.

As life rises and falls with every oscillation of distant solar flares and creeps along over every speed bump that some wannabe-know-it-all-safety-guru-plants to keep us from racing through life’s parking lot so we don’t run over someone while aiming at the finish line, it can be way too easy to blame others or things for our internal and external ebbs and flows.  I tend to think in run on sentences, sorry.

Taking control of my own destiny is a holy privilege and a divined ordination.  Yet sometimes the road seems way too long to enjoy the journey.  As a matter of fact, like my childhood vacation memories taken on a meager teacher’s salary, where cold cuts eaten in the back seat had to suffice because McDonald’s was too expensive, or where cedar wood souvenirs and trinket desires were just not in the budget, there were times I knew somehow I was getting short changed.  I know, that pretty pathetic.  My life really has been enormously good and blessed compared to so many others, but you know sometimes you can lose sight of those facts.  And a misstep with words can take you there.

Over and over opportunities are given and squandered, but most of us live life with so much unforeseen grace that when life’s pages turn we really don’t grasp the gravity of His loving provision.

Each and every day I face the choice.  Will I live life standing still, letting all things become relative to me, or will I ignite the afterburner of my passionate heart and imagination and rocket into orbit around a God who causes all things to be relative to Him and His purposes?  Orbits around such a Being can produce such a whiplash affect, especially if you’re looking the wrong direction when you swing into the closest orbital trajectory; it’s easy to forget His gravity is what’s doing the pulling.  Not chance.

As we orbit God, whether we realize it or not, His love and kindness are so gravitational, that they produce such a life momentum, we can find ourselves shot way out into a distant orbit; usually forgetting that it was actually His gravitational pull to Himself that gave us our initial speed and life.

If we ever dare to interrupt that course; we discover that we alone have the power to overcome a body in motion.  Contrary to what Newton’s First Law tells us, we are more than just solid objects waiting for an outside force to act upon us.  We are first and foremost spirit beings.  We have souls that are empowered with free will.  We’ve been stamped in His image and have been given the power of yes and no, up or down, right or left, black or white, life or death.

Please keep in mind; the next time I begin Blaming the Wicked for my state of being, I need someone to remind me of Psalm 73.  I need time in the sanctuary of His presence.  I need to accept the fact that by the loving grace of God, have been given keys to the Kingdom.  I have been given the title deed to The Promise Land.  There is a way set by God if I so choose to travel it.

It’s up to me.  I am free to orbit knowing that He is my gravity.

Truthers and Liars

My heart is very full right now with the things God is downloading this day.

Let me preface all these things by saying I’m in process like you, and joyfully admit it. Yet even in this process, I have not fully grasped the dimensional grandeur of God’s grace and truth, but every day I see through the glass less darkly.  And the more we understand the more there will be to understand. Understand?


I want to touch on a subject that is understood and misunderstood in a wide variety of ways. Mission, or as some call it missions, tends to conjure up pictures of white skinned people in western clothing, Bible in one hand and finger in the air preaching to a group of people not so white skinned. Or missions my bring to mind foreign foods that are sampled on a Saturday night, prior to hearing a missionary tell us about their adventures in another land. Some call that a missions convention. Still others picture teams of non-commissioned lay Christians traveling out of this country to construct a building that may be used as a church, a learning center, an orphanage, or a simple living structure for the less fortunate. And none of these images are incorrect, but they are incomplete. For the very notion that mission(s) is to be done elsewhere, by other people, and directed towards some heathen yet to be exposed to the Gospel of Jesus Christ is tacitly wrong.


Mission begins in the mind of each born again believer, then emerges from a heart and life that is properly restored. But restored from what? Restoration from lies we believe to be true about ourselves. These lies keep us from living missional lives; which ultimately keep us from doing missional work so as to advance the Kingdom of God and to see souls saved and transformed, domestically or internationally. Geography means little when it comes to people bound up in lies.

I'm not going to speculate about what lie is keeping you back from God’s best for your life, not to mention God’s call to live missionally, but I will tell you that it is the greatest obstacle that must be removed before all that Christ died for can shine outward from our lives (i.e. mission). Let me ask you; when you’re around people that live, speak and demonstrate truth, doesn’t it make you feel good and refreshed to be with them? Don’t you come away with a desire to be with them more and more? I know I do. Kind of like when we expose our open hearts to the Bible, there are portions of God’s word that download tremendous amounts of transforming truth, and we then become very hungry and excited to return to those portions – as well as share them with others. That’s what happens when we are around genuine Truthers.


What do we call people that lie or don’t tell the truth? Come now, don’t be afraid to answer. We call them liars. Correct? (If you want to argue this point – call me we can talk.) And my experience has been that lies and liars produce some very unsettling feelings deep within us. Yet because we are so accustom to a life and culture of lies, we simply think, that’s how normal life feels. We’ve been convinced by lies and liars, that what we are feeling, all humans are feeling and that must be normal. We tend to think it’s an experience that everyone else has; therefore it must be right or normal. Not true! Just because something is common, or even experienced by the masses, does not make it right or true. As a matter of fact, if we’ve spent less time with Truthers than with liars, we’ll actually think the Truthers are telling lies. Get it?


My point is this: Mission(s) is all about advancing the truth of God. And it begins within our own hearts and minds – not with dollars, hammers or even inconvenient sacrifice. But with our ability to know the truth, hold onto the truth, live in the truth and then others will sense (or feel) something very special about us. As a matter of fact, they actually may ask us to give an explanation of the hope we have within our hearts. Which will actually produce a feeling within them, and that’s what they are really meaning when they’re asking about our hope in Christ.


Please don’t miss this point. If we build houses for the poor, they may ask what motivated us to do such a thing. And we could honestly say, the love of God or even, because it’s the right thing to do. But unless we ourselves have been restored by the truth and resonate it outward to those in our mission target zone, the attraction to our “missions work” will only be the physical things we are providing that they otherwise did not have. Which is not evil, or even bad, but it’s not necessarily transformational. As a matter of fact, it will tend to cause us to be dependent upon a works based outreach. Jesus did tell us the poor or those in physical need will always be with us, but lies can and should be totally eliminated from people’s lives and cultures. Because next to our salvation, of which only Jesus could provide, came the next and equally significant reason for His coming into this world – to testify to the truth (John 18:37).


Solomon prophetically penned his holy desire for what God describes and we should understand as mission (Proverbs 30:5-8). “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him. 6 Do not add to his words, or he will rebuke you and prove you a liar. 7 Two things I ask of you, O LORD; do not refuse me before I die: 8 Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread.” What? It sounds like Solomon was emphasizing this very premise: TRUTH must precede PROVISION.


Yet how often are we called to give, go, do or even say something in the name of a Kingdom mission, while we are still bound up in lies? Stop right now and ask yourself, what this array of thoughts makes you feel. Does it make you feel good, bad, indifferent, indignant or what? If you’re like many, you’ve already been equipped to maintain some measure of religious composure when exposed to the truth, so you may feel nothing. If that’s the case, you can be rest assured that you will seek to do missions from a backwards view of Proverbs 30:5-8. All of which is not a sin that would lead to your own damnation, but it is definitely a sin or the missing of a mark or point that God is STILL trying to get across to people just like you and me. And that’s what tends to keep us from living the mission. And that lie is it’s all about more works and more dollars.


Let me beg His grace and truth to be upon your heart and mind. Let me ask Jesus to speak His truth to you regarding missions or rather, YOUR MISSION WHILE IN THIS LIFE CALLED CHRIST.


As we gather tomorrow at theREMEDYchurch.org (Sunday 04/22/12), know that our visiting missionary is not here just to tell you what’s been done in some other country, but he is here to assist you in understanding the mission of truth we are each called to live in Christ Jesus.


Amen for now and see you in the morning!

Vote Here!

POST EXPLAINATION: Below you’ll find my thoughts (they’re lengthy so get a beverage and settle down for a few minutes) regarding a Facebook poll I posted a few days back on our church page. If you are interested go to Facebook and "Like" our church page www.facebook.com/theREMEDYchurchALTOONA and take the poll.

My Poll Response

I wanted to post a note (or a novel) on the poll taken below. Granted there were only 23 people who clicked on the options, but I have some thoughts on the responses.
It’s not a surprise that most of the respondents clicked “Mostly Positive”, because most church folk are relatively content with and have positive feelings about their experiences in church.

The 3 “Mostly Negative” and 3 “Neutral” and my 1 “Confusing and Irrelevant” responses were not surprising either. What I find surprising is our ability to gloss over the positives and the negatives within our church experiences, in the name of what? Maybe grace? Maybe forbearance? Or maybe just apathy?

I’m not sure which is the case? But I do know that looking back on all my church experiences, for the most part, I would say they were positive at the moment, but in the long run, they were actually “Confusing and Irrelevant”.

Let me explain. I was the only one that clicked on that button. Not because I was trying to be oppositional or counter-church-cultured, but because in hindsight I have realized few if any persons within my church life, took the time or effort to actually confirm if the Seed got planted properly.

You see, despite the presence of Seed or not, or even a question of the soil quality; systems, steps, programs and our involvement therein, were the typical barometers of one’s church experience. And usually that gauge was read from the vantage point of the churches attendance and participation rolls and not the participant themselves.

Not once do I remember anyone asking me if I had genuine peace in my heart. Granted, there were times following my responses to altar calls for repentance, that I came away feeling more peace between myself and God, and rightly so. But you know what? I never remember anyone clearly explaining the doctrine of repentance. All I remember about repentance was telling God what I did wrong and saying please forgive me, then going home and trying my best not to do it again. But never do I remember anyone clearly teaching the biblical meaning of changing ones thinking, beyond simple will power.

But for anyone to show that kind of concern or interest in the heart of a young man, looking back seems like they just didn’t care or know themselves, how that process was to occur. To do so would have been an anomaly or rather unusual, because once we left the church property there was little contact from the churches side of the relationship. I understand that, but the process of grace filled, truth filled relational discipleship only really occurred in the later years of my adulthood, and that was because the church up until then had failed to meet my real need.

Now here’s where the dominant voice of unrestored church folk would fit well. They would place the blame or onus upon me, the hearer or the one in need. Yet never would they consider they might be part of the problem, and not much help with the solution. I mean beyond the simple salvation message. Anyone can find that message on a 3 point graphically illustrated Jack T. Chick salvation tract.

I’m not complaining, but I can tell you based upon hindsight; I really was at times very confused as to what my life was supposed to be like, beyond the “dos and don’ts”. And as far my experience being relevant, it really wasn’t. It was like they were selling something I didn’t need.

Please don’t mistake what I’m saying, I needed salvation, I needed a regular reminder to stay “right” with God, but I really needed so much more. I needed things much deeper than I was receiving, but I didn’t know it, and apparently neither did they.

My heart’s prayer, and my life’s passion is to provide access to exactly what each person needs, for each particular situation, yet I am NOT able to give it, because that can only come from Him. That can only come through the Holy Spirit’s leading and Jesus speaking to the need and the pain in their life. My duty and my privilege are simply to facilitate moments and times where a connection is made between them and God. And if I am willing, courageous and obedient enough that will happen. Oh yes, and if I am equipped for the task; s many of my church relationships were not.

Confusing? Yes it was. Irrelevant? Most of the time. But if I were to have ever openly acknowledged those thoughts or feelings, it’s likely I would have been shamed or condemned, back into my nutshell of Christian seclusion, for safely sake if nothing more. Who wants to be shamed or condemned into better thinking or better being? It usually doesn’t work very well.

Granted; I understand some of the office works of the Holy Spirit here on earth. Convict the world of sin, righteousness and judgment. But my read on that text, is it’s referencing the “world” in regards to sin. And sometime way back in 1967 I left the “world” and entered the Kingdom of God.

So the work that was being done in me, even while in misbehavior, was a work of grace, not a work of sin conviction, for in Him I was not guilty. What I needed was brothers and sisters who were actually “spiritual” enough to take loving action to “restore” me (Galatians 6:1). Few tried, and for who did I’m grateful for their ministry, but the bulk of the rest did not. And those that did left little impression that the process was doable on a daily basis or could be lived out moment by moment.

For the things I had deep inside me; questions, doubts, fears, and painful feelings; no one was able to go there (or willing for that matter). Ergo my multi-decade struggle, not with sin, but with feelings that affected my behavior and relationships.

I’ll stop you before you say I needed counseling or something like that. I’ll also stop you before you say I needed to read the Word more, because I did read it and take it very seriously, but what I did not have was someone who was enough at peace with God, to take on the hard questions without throwing cliché or duty back in my face.

I’ll close my thoughts with a few questions. Are we prepared to “restore” those who find themselves in chronic trespass? And not just by tossing more rules at them. Are we prepared to “restore” those who come, after all other methods and means have failed? I know I am ready. And I’m getting more and more ready day by day, with a deep passion to prepare others in like manner.

The time has come for His Church to be the REMEDY.

Now go back in your mind and heart and ask yourself if most of your church experiences were positive, and by positive I mean transformational? And not in some lengthy protracted way, but was the light regularly coming on? Were things regularly improving within your feelings and outlook on life? Or were you like many, just pushing those bad feelings down further, with one more praise and worship chorus and one more holy-to-do-list?

Thanks for your thoughts!
Russell A. Kinney
Restoration Pastor – www.theremedychurch.org

Razed and Brazed

As I was backing into my driveway this afternoon, following a great time with God’s people at theREMEDYchurch; these words bubbled up from my heart and out of my mouth. At first I thought it was because I was hungry, but that’s not why.

Here are the words. Razed and Brazed. Razed and Brazed? I thought; “Lord what’s this all about?”

As I inquired of the Lord, this is what was revealed. Before God does much of anything, in terms of using us for His glory, and beyond salvation, He will first raze all our kingdoms to the ground. He’ll seek out the areas of our life that are hindrances to our advances in Him. He seeks out the areas that prevent us from living in truth and by His grace and power He begins swinging His divine wrecking ball. Because of His heart of compassion, to not leave us with some preexisting soul condition, things can get very destructive and invasive; at least from our stand point.

Most of us have built our lives upon some very poor foundations. And usually without knowing it was happening. So when our lives get to a certain height or place, is it any wonder things are so tipped in one direction or another? And upon noticing how off plumb of our lives really are, most of us go into a maintenance mode or a self-help-works-doctrine of some sort. We troubleshoot or reboot our religious systems. We somehow really believe that with a few strategically placed religious shims here and there, things will get back in order. You know, back to plumb and level.

And for a period of time, things might look right, but they’re not. The foundation is still not level. As a result the whole structure will eventually be off plumb, even if only by a few degrees. And just a few degrees may not seem like much at first, but by the time things get up there a ways, gravity begins to pull on the angle and collapse is inevitable.

Like I said, we’ve become masters of the religious shim. We like to wedge them in here and there to keep things “looking” right. But in fact they are not.

The Lord said, “I must raze this structure to the ground. I must remove the rubble and remove the old foundations. I will lay a new foundation. I will become the Cornerstone upon which everything will be plumed and leveled. But know this, demolition must occur.”

So I’m saying to the Lord, “Okay let’s do it.” But He said, “It’s not just you that needs razed and a new foundation, it’s all of My people. It’s all of the REMEDY church.” And of course I agreed with Him, but there was more.

As I further listened, He reminded me that some may not want to submit to the process; but it is absolutely necessary. Anything that has been built upon the wrong foundation must be razed; if He is to receive the glory and if lives are to be changed and restored.

Change and restoration must begin at home, with us, His kids, His house. And yes judgment does begin with the house of the Lord. But that judgment IS NOT, let me repeat NOT, a delegated ministry to any one whatsoever. As a matter of fact, it is a ministry that is strictly and only given to Jesus, by the work of the Holy Spirit within each heart and life.

The apostle Paul wrote, in Romans 14:12-14, “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.”

Here we see the Holy Spirit’s guidance within the Body of Christ. We see a proper use of mercy and judgment (or justice). Unfortunately, many well intentioned believers (people with lies and pain still governing their feelings and attitudes), take this passage and others like it and use them as whips of condemnation toward other believers who they simply don’t agree with or even like. All the while God may actually be silent toward the one being judged.

In other words, because I’m so steeped in my own pain and lies (not having a level foundation), I grow up tipped and leaning one way or the other; so as to judge others according to my relative crookedness. All the while I’m projecting a demand that others align with my lie-based, sin-based, feelings-based doctrines of insecurity, guilt and shame. And at the same time ignoring the damage I’m doing to the body of Christ by being divisive and judgmental.

You see, this passage was not given to the one who believes in their own spiritual superiority (self-piety), so as to give them license to police the growth process in others, but on the contrary. It was given so that the people in this position of destructive arrogance would humble themselves and find the lies that keep them from loving others and then simply to love the ones they “disagree” with. And that my friend is true spiritual maturity (Galatians 6:1). That is the ability Jesus speaks of. That is the ability to see the speck in a brother’s eye yet not be intimidated or bugged by it. But then to actually go away and begin the private work of digging the 6x6 beam from our own eye – also something that only the Spirit of Jesus can do for us; just saying.

Our ability and willingness to see the stains, pains, differences, and even the mud on the master piece of another human without passing judgment is true Life. It’s the ability to overcome the temptation of self-righteousness. It’s biting our tongue until it bleeds or drops off, so that we don’t become junior Holy Spirit. And all because we’ve finally come to know, to believe, and to feel the very worth and dignity of His beloved creation – namely other people. That is love. That’s what the REMEDY is all about. And not a single word of “loving Christian encouragement” mixed in to satiate our own insecurities, bigotry and ignorance.

The holier than thou translation: “Get out of my sight until you clean up your act. You should be ashamed of yourself. You don’t look or act like I think you should, because I of course, speak for god. Oh and by the way, your freedom bugs me because I’m bound up, but think I look fine. So please go away and do something about your wretched self. You remind me of my own bondage.”

Holy sarcasm implied. Don’t miss it.

That is the devilish spirit of carnal Christianity that keeps far too many from the Kingdom of God. And the ones that seemingly do make it into the Kingdom only do so by jumping through the right hoops and pleasing the right people. May God have mercy on our religious souls. I've choked on enough camels in my church life to know that someone already strained out the gnats. And why?

Razed, torn down, leveled, graded, wrecked or flattened; no matter how you say it God desires that we start building upon a totally new foundation. Not one that is already half a bubble off level. Not one that has been shimmed up so as to make it “look” level. All the while it’s not.

He desires a brand new foundation (its the same with wine-skins by the way). And that’s what we are going to let Him do. Rebuild us from the ground (foundation) up. And it’s time we stop trying to raze the lives of others, because we don’t like them, or we've not dealt with our own junk first.

Keep in mind; great peace have they who love thy law and nothing shall offend them (Psalm 119:165 KJV). The new law Jesus gave us was really just the original and most important one, repackaged. It goes like this.

Hear. That’s right, listen and hear with your spirit, there is only one voice from one God. Then the law goes on to say love God with all of your life, then love others next. That fulfills all the law and the prophetic teaching through God’s history with man. Right up to the present moment.

So know this. If things aren’t torn down yet in your life, they will be. God’s in the building business, but only when it’s right, and true, plumb and level. Don’t worry this won’t hurt once it’s all over.

Let us cease judging and start loving and watch the power of God change lives. Let us watch the power of true repentance flourish!

So what about the Brazed part? I’m not talking about seared meat (that would be braised). I’ll post the rest tomorrow. Now please be praying and thinking about friends who need Jesus, but were afraid to come to church lest they be judged.

Because one of these days we’re going to have a party, a service, a gathering, a meal, a worship encounter, or a teaching event. And we just might call it; WELCOME TO THE FREAK SHOW! Get ready.

Holy Ghost eye wash will be available in the lobby or online for a donation of any size.

Psalm 19:13-14

I woke up with Psalm 19:14 upon my heart (well not the reference, but the words of that verse). I really do desire that what comes from my mouth and what is percolating in my heart is pleasing to God. I don’t think that’s too much to desire, as well as to ask God for help therein.

But only after looking up the verse and further musing upon what God was showing me, did I get a deeper and greater understanding of actually what God wants from me, and what He is keeping me from when I do guard my heart and my mouth according to His way and not mine.

Please bear with me as I paraphrase, in my own words and understanding, this portion of scripture, so that you may experience additional revelation and move closer to the powerful process of a full restoration in this life and on this side of heaven.

My Paraphrase of Psalm 19:13-14

Dear heavenly Father, dear Jesus, dear Holy Spirit; reach your divine hand of power and influence down to the very place I’m at right now. Put that hand out in front of me like a crossing guard, put it out like a rock wall, grab the nap of my neck and keep me from presuming upon your special saving grace, so as to never have a root of bitterness grow up within me. May your keeping hand do just that; keep me from trampling upon your shed blood, in the assumption that what I say and do really doesn’t matter much, because I’ve got a free ticket to heaven by what You’ve already done.

Spin me around, look deep in my eyes, and point Your finger in my face, and speak with a gentle, but powerful and fearful Fatherly warning, as only a loving Dad can do to a son of His own loins. Warn me that if I am not wholly dependent upon You my Father, this deadly presumption upon Your saving and keeping grace can be forfeited. And also, warn me about this presumption and its subtle, but powerful influence to rule my every thought, my every feeling, my every word, and worst of all every single selfish song that echoes in my heart. Tell me it will become like a tyrannical dictator over my life if I do not take the preemptive action of remaining in You and Your Words.

Only then can I live with a deep sense of innocence. Not that I have done anything on my own, but that I have actually, only and simply heard Your Voice teaching, training, rebuking, correcting, and revealing the ultimate guide into a peaceful and lie-less life – obedience to and sometimes painful reflection upon Your words of truth hammered deep into my memories of life. And may this life be so valid in You, that no one or no lie can ever derail me from the path of life You’ve planned. And as I live in Your truth, may I always understand that in Your eyes, presumption upon this grace is the greatest sin of all against Your perfect provision.

My Lord and my God! I declare that what comes out of my mouth in the form of spoken words, would exactly reflect what is in my deepest heart parts, what I feel most strongly about. Because I know You desire honesty from the inside of me, even before you expect it on the outside. Nothing is ever hidden from You. You always look on the inside first – deep inside.

When You do look inside me Lord, to see if my words are matching what is actually in my heart, I covenant with You, I promise you, with all the strength You provide and my very own will; I will be writing a new song, I will be muttering over and over to myself these new lyrics to make sure they rhyme and reflect who You really are. I’m telling you, when I hover over your truth, like a lion hovers over a fresh kill, I will be growling in a low and warning tone. In a tone that tells all would be thieves; “Stay back and realize I’m serious about keeping this meal for myself. This is mine, don’t even come close or I’ll attack you in defense of my only source of life – Your Words.”

And Lord, as you see this picture of my crazed and starving fixation on the Words You give me, be well happy and well pleased with me. Have that warm Fatherly feeling that one of Your very own kids is finally getting it, I’m finally growing up and into Your image. And may I know that regardless of what others see, or even what I may see in my immediate surroundings, You see something very different. You see a son who is learning to live in Your truth and who is experiencing the power of Your peaceful fruit of righteousness.

Only because I’ve finally believed in my heart, based upon the Words You have spoken, that You alone are my strength and emancipator. You alone are the source of all I need, and when I sense Your approval upon my life, there is NOTHING I cannot do, nor is there any opposing foe or force I cannot overcome. I am in Your Love. I am in Your Words. I am Your son, and it feels amazing!

Amen and Amen – Selah.

The Pinnacle of Our Past

It’s kind of funny how our past lives guide and direct our present. I mean, when you’re up, that typically means there will be a down sometime in your future (notwithstanding the Rapture). And isn’t it queer how things that we once thought were low points, were actually points of contact for the most spectacular rebounds in our lives to date. For that I’d say, yes indeed it’s all good.

But can you imagine a life without the influence of your past? I know it’s hard for me to get my mind around that, but nonetheless, I need to attempt it. For in the good and bad of my past is the present that I’m living. Yes, that’s right, you are a product of your memory; of your past, and that’s what we must consider for the moment.

God has an amazing way of taking what is dead and making it alive again, and He likewise has a fearful way of taking what is alive and making it dead… when Real Life is rejected. You know, to whom much is given much is require?

Anyway, I give thanks to my Father in Heaven that He was in my past and He IS in my present. For although I may not be able to alter my past, He can traverse time and space and speak into my past present so as to change my present future. Get it?

If I say to you; “Don’t let your past determine your future.” You would tend to agree, but MY WORDS ARE NOT LIFE, versus His Words being the very Life of the universe and your reality. So all well and good if I tell you how nice you are now and how nice your future is going to be; but if Jesus doesn’t tell you those words… you will boomerang right back to where you started. All of which is part of the hidden agenda within many religious “helps” groups or churches.

For as long as I can keep you addicted to my words, you’ll be back and you’ll just maybe write another check for the offering. But imagine this; a once “for all” Word that cures EVERYTHING? I know you’ll struggle to imagine that concept, but pause for a moment and consider its possibility.

If all we are IS OUR PAST then hopelessness will be our mantra. But; if Jesus can alter our past, present and even our future, then a new tune just might be in our melody. Our present and our future just may be in the Hands of the One who knows it all… past, present and future.

So why not TRUST and kiss the past good bye? Why not let everyone know you’re a former jerk and a recovering jerk and get on with what the Lord of all creation says about you? It might not be a bad idea. For if and when our past rears its ugly head we can be assured that Jesus has a healing, creating and rebuking word that will shut her down.

The Pinnacle of Our Past will no longer stand, when Jesus speaks a Word that will last and last.